ChickenBones: A Journal
for Literary & Artistic African-American Themes
Yeah, Prez, I want to support your reelection but I find it most difficult. And the brothers on the street as well. They were happy when you won, they said it was great to know they could look up to someone besides a rapper. But lately they are saying “fuck you, Mr. Prez.”
Books by Marvin X
* * * * *
A Fictional Interview with President Barack Obama
By Marvin X
Marvin X: Thank you Mr. President for agreeing to meet with me.
Barack Obama: The pleasure is all mine. I’ve been reading your blogs and find them quite interesting.
Marvin X: I hope you don’t say what Minister Farrakhan said about my comments on him.
Barack Obama: What did he say?
Marvin X: He said I raked him over the coals.
Barack Obama: I agree with Minister Farrakhan. You can be quite hard hitting.
Marvin X: They call me the sledgehammer.Barack Obama: Indeed you are.
Marvin X: Call it tough love.
Barack Obama: OK.
Marvin X: Furthermore, I supported you wholeheartedly from the beginning. You obviously haven’t seen my book Pull Yo Pants Up fada Black Prez and Yoself.
Barack Obama: No I haven’t.
Marvin X: But I must agree with our mutual friend Dr. Cornell West. I’m sure you are aware that he said we must protect you, respect you, but check you.
Barack Obama: Yes, I heard his remarks. And you know what I said, “You brothers need to cut me some slack.”
Marvin X: Prez, you don’t need slack. You need us riding your back like Roy Rogers on Trigger.
Barack Obama: Don’t you think I have enough pressure on me?
Marvin X: Well, I once forced the resignation of the president of Fresno State University. Well, actually he said he was pressured from above (Gov. Ronald Reagan) and below (student protests after the college refused to hire me). So we see you are the type of guy who must be pressured from above and below, from the right and the left.
Barack Obama: How much pressure you think a person in my position can take?
Marvin X: You got Michelle to chill you out!Barack Obama: You’re right about that.
Marvin X: But I wrote about her putting a foot in your ass when you get weak.
Barack Obama: I don’t think that’s necessary.
Marvin X: Well, you seem to capitulate at every turn. You call it the nature of politics, of course.
Barack Obama: Well, I certainly don’t call it capitulation. That’s a bit harsh. I try to negotiate and compromise with my opposition.Marvin X: Prez, it seems to me you give in too quickly, sometimes when it ain’t even necessary.
Barack Obama: Marvin, it’s the nature of the beast I’m dealing with.
Marvin X: Ever heard of playing hardball? I mean I was happy you got the health insurance plan through but at what price, selling out to the insurance lobby?
Barack Obama: I don’t call it selling out, it was compromise, the best we could do under the circumstances.
Marvin X: Prez, why have you not created a jobs program? You bailed out the banks and corporations but not the people, why?
Barack Obama: Marv, you know I have a most difficult job and we tried a stimulus package, and it worked to some extent.
Marvin X: But, Prez, there are still millions of unemployed. Yet at the same time you are promising terrorist jobs in Iraq and Afghanistan if they lay down their arms. Should the American unemployed take up arms to get your attention?
Barack Obama: Marv, please, what are you suggesting, revolution?
Marvin X: If that’s what it takes to get you to consider the consent of the governed. Is not the first priority of this nation the people, not corporations and banks?
Barack Obama: Well, corporations are people now.
Marvin X: Prez, you know what I mean.
Barack Obama: Of course.
Marvin X: How can you provide funds for educating, housing and employing terrorists abroad but not at home? It just doesn’t make sense, Mr. Prez.
Barack Obama: You’re right, Marv.
Marvin X: Now you’re getting ready to raise one billion dollars to keep your job, but you can’t find a few billion for the millions of unemployed.
Barack Obama: You’re right, Marv. I can do better. Let me regroup with my advisers and think about it.
Marvin X: Yeah, Prez, I want to support your reelection but I find it most difficult. And the brothers on the street as well. They were happy when you won, they said it was great to know they could look up to someone besides a rapper. But lately they are saying “fuck you, Mr. Prez.”
Barack Obama: I’m sorry to hear that.
Marvin X: You should know this is what they’re saying, Fuck you!
Barack Obama: I often wonder about the mood in the hood.
Marvin X: You should wonder before something terrible happens to your country because of your neglect and misplaced priorities. Can I ask you something personal?
Barack Obama: Go for it!Marvin X: Do you feel like a white man or black man?
Barack Obama: Well, when I’m with Mechelle, I feel black. When I’m with my Secretary of State, Hillary, I feel white.
Marvin X: I thought Hillary was black, along with her husband, Dirty Bill.
Barack Obama: Marv, let’s not name call, please.
Marvin X: OK. On a more serious matter, how long did you know Osama bin Laden was in Pakistan?
Barack Obama: We had him under surveillance for some time.
Marvin X: Years, months?
Barack Obama: . . . a long time.
Marvin X: Should I congratulate you for slaying the dragon?
Barack Obama: That’s up to you.
Marvin X: Well, you probably deserve a feather in your cap. A couple of Brownie points.
Barack Obama: Marv, thanks.
Marvin X: But, Prez, where’s the body?
Barack Obama: We threw it in the oceanMarvin X: C’mon, Prez, do I look like Willie Foofoo?
Barack Obama: Marv, we did, trust me.
Marvin X: Prez, I’m an ex-dope fiend. I know how people lie.
Barack Obama: Marv, are you calling me a liar?
Marvin X: I didn’t say that, Prez, but my elder, Dr. Nathan Hare, taught the fictive theory. Everything the white man (and black man or white/black man) says is fiction until proven to be a fact. Where are the facts, Prez?
Barack Obama: Marv, trust me. We thought it best to dispose of the body in the ocean.
Marvin X: But who’s going for this, Prez, it sounds shaky.
Barack Obama: We concluded that was the best way to end the matter of a man who murdered three thousand Americans.
Marvin X: Prez, how many Muslims have you murdered since you became President?
Barack Obama: I can’t answer that. Marvin X: Between Iraq, Afghanistan and Pakistan, how many, especially with the collateral damage?
Barack Obama: Can’t answer that. It was all in defense of America.
Marvin X: Is a few ignorant men living in mountain caves really a threat to America?
Barack Obama: They can be.
Marvin X: C’mon, Prez. Let’s change the channel. What happened with the closing of Gitmo?
Barack Obama: We tried but couldn’t pull it off.
Marvin X: What about the secret prisons in America?Barack Obama: I’m not aware of them.
Marvin X: Maybe you should check with Homeland Security?
Barack Obama: Our priority is the safety of Americans.
Marvin X: Does this include murdering American citizens rather than bringing them to trial?
Barack Obama: Not necessarily.
Marvin X: What about the man in Yemen you are trying to kill who is an American citizen?
Barack Obama: He’s a special case.
Marvin X: But he’s an American.
Barack Obama: Marv, don’t press the issue.
Marvin X: That’s exactly what I’m doing.
Barack Obama: Don’t press it, Marv.
Marvin X: Let’s discuss the Middle East for a moment. I’ve written about your speech in Cairo and Indonesia. I’ve imagined what you will say about Muslims tomorrow, May 19. You know as long as you occupy one inch of Muslim land there shall be Muslims who view you as a Crusader and they will vow to fight you to the death.
Barack Obama: Marv, I’m aware how Muslims feel about us occupying their lands. And we plan to vacate all Muslim lands at the earliest possible date.Marvin X: Does this include having your friends in Israel do the same?
Barack Obama: Well, that’s a matter for the Israelis, not us.
Marvin X: But you are their very best friend. You support them right or wrong, true?
Barack Obama: I wouldn’t say that. But we have an enduring relationship.
Marvin X: Don’t you see the day is rapidly arriving when they cannot claim to be the only democracy in the area, that they will bow down to the God of Justice, not peace but justice?
Barack Obama: Events are rapidly changing in North Africa and the Middle East. Therefore we must all make a paradigm shift in our thinking and behavior, including Israel.
Marvin X: What about your friends in Saudi Arabia?
Barack Obama: They will need to make substantial changes as well.
Marvin X: And Bahrain?Barack Obama: It’s a special case. We have strategic interests there.
Marvin X: You seem to be saying America practices selective suffering. You now support the Egyptian revolution, the Tunisian, Yemen, but not in Saudi Arabia or Israel, Jordan, Bahrain.
Barack Obama: Marv, we have our interests that must be secured first.
Marvin X: What if and when these nations explode in your face, overnight, as is happening as we speak. Seems like you’ll be running after the football or playing catch-up?
Barack Obama: We’ll do what we must when we must.
Marvin X: Thank you, Mr. Prez.
18 May 2011Source: BlackBirdPressNews
* * * * *
Obamas Speech to Muslim World
By Marvin X
I, Barack Hussein Obama, President of the United States of America, come before you tonight in the name of Almighty God Allah. We, the America people, are pleased to see the people of North Africa and the Middle East rising up against our long time friends in Tunisia, Libya, Egypt, Yemen and elsewhere.
Of course we instituted a no fly zone over Libya but it is most difficult to do the same in Gaza. The recent unity of Hamas and the Palestinian Authority is nice but simply not in the interests of our dear friends in Israel, nor is it in the long term strategic interests of America and her friends throughout the region, especially our brothers in the House of Saud.
While we endorse the cries for freedom in Tunisia, Libya, Egypt and Yemen, we cannot support the people in Bahrain. We suspect they are simply agents for Iran and therefore we cannot support their cries for freedom. We have no plans of moving our Fifth Fleet from Bahrain, especially since it is a counterweight to Iranian provocations. We therefore endorse the sending of Saudi troops to crush the Shia uprisings in Bahrain.
As per Saudi Arabia, we love democracy but it is simply not in our interests to have the Saudi regime destabilized because of a few unhappy citizens, again, many of them are agents of Iran, especially those Saudi women who want to drive cars.
As per Iran, we call for democracy in that nation, even though we accept full responsibility for overthrowing the democratically elected leader, Mossedeq, and installing the Shah who oppressed his people for many years.
We know you share our joy with the elimination of the hated terrorist Osama Bin Laden. Even though we created him and supported him, the time came for his removal, even though we were aware he was living in a mansion with his three wives in Pakistan. He served us well, but the time came for his disposal. You know how we handle those who outlive our usefulness, e.g., Saddam Hussein.
We promised a total troop removal from Iraq, but circumstances may prevent this unless it is expedient for my upcoming election. We hope the people of Iraq understand, especially that guy Sadr and his army of the poor in Sadr City who fought with us to no avail.
Our regional partners, namely the Sunni neighbors of Iraq, have warned us not to leave Iraq under a Shia regime, again this will only benefit Iran, the enemy of world peace. Not Israel and certainly not America who is the champion of world peace as you all know throughout the Muslim world, not matter that we are now occupying Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan and making inroads into Libya. You may be surprised to learn that it is not the oil we want in Libya but the water. Yes, water will be a precious commodity in the coming days. We pray to Allah you can understand why we do what we do.
As per Afghanistan, we have promised the Taliban if they lay down their arms, we will give them schooling, housing and employment. We wish we could offer the same to our boys and girls in the hoods of America who are terrorizing their communities with drugs and guns, but our budget crisis will not allow education, housing, and jobs for the boys and girls in the hood, although we can do this for the Taliban. As you know we did this in Iraq and this was the real cause of the decrease in violence, not the so-called surge of Baghdad under General Betrayus.
As you know, General Betrayus will be taking over the Central Intelligence Agency. We appreciate his role in prolonging the war in Iraq and Afghanistan. We feel he has been successful in routing the 100 to 500 Al Quida in Afghanistan, especially after we sent him thirty thousand additional troops.
Finally, our friends in Pakistan may have some misgivings about the unilateral move we made to eliminate Osama bin Laden, but we want them to get over it and not make any silly moves like seeking revenge with their nuclear option.
I close in the name of peace, As-Salaam-Alaikum.
President Barack Hussein Obama
17 May 2011
* * * * *
On Troop Withdrawal from Afghanistan
a Fictional Speech by President Obama Written by Marvin X
Good evening, my fellow Americans. You some silly motherfuckers. Do you think I’m gonna bring a bunch of troops home from Afghanistan when my generals tell me they can make a few more billion dollars if we keep the troop level up. I’m not gonna do that, hell naw. As long as my name is Barack Hussein Obama. Yes, who sane Obama, but you insane if you think the thirty thousand troops I sent over there to kill those mountain goats are coming home anytime soon.
Oh, I might bring home two or three thousand, mostly the wounded with their brains shot out, those with no legs, no arms, we’ll send them home, but you know it takes 30 thousand to capture or kill 100 to 500 Al Quida, yes, do the math, 30 thousand men at the cost of one million dollars each–now we don’t pay them damn fool grunts no million dollars, but the generals get most of it for their retirement and when they come home to set up defense related corporations. You know the drill, don’t you? You know politics and capitalism is dirty, filthy and funky like a ghetto ho. Hee hee hee. vote for me, I’ll set you free!
You know we gotta take care of our generals, since they protect us round the world so you dumb somebitches can ride around in your SUVs, playing soccer mom and your husbands can ride through the ghetto at night picking up little black girls for prostitution. Now if you fuck with my little girls, I’m coming after that ass like I did that boy, our boy, Osama bin Laden.
Yes, I got that motherfucker. Hell, it was close to election time so I had to do something. Shot that motherfucker between the eyes and had my boys fuck his three wives fore we got outta Pakistan. Back to Afghanistan. It is ten billion dollars a month to chase them mountain goats up and down them fuckin mountains, some ten thousand feet to twelve thousand feet up. But we makin progress so we can’t leave now. Too much money involved and too much dope. Karzai and his brother is dealing too much dope and it’s too good to cut and run now, except for a little drawn down fore election time, hee hee hee. Vote for me, I’ll set you free, you dumb motherfuckers, especially my nigguhs.
How ma nigguhs doing in da hood? Ya’ll still got yo shirt on, pants? I know you ain’t got no job, ain’t got no house, but you know I had to help my boys on Wall Street. I ain’t stupid now, hell, I’m a Harvard nigguh, my nigguhs. Gotta help my brotherhood of thieves and robbers. If ya’ll stop going to prison and come to Harvard, we’ll show you how to be real criminals.
And they lettin all nigguhs and poor people into Harvard for free, what’s wrong wit ya nigguhs? Get yo ass out dem prison cells and come to Harvard so you can be trained to be a real criminal. Look, we ain’t gonnna keep payin no $200,000 a year to keep you little snotty nose motherfuckers in juvenile hall. We go put you in Harvard. I’ll talk to my man Skip Gates bout giving you a little black studies, none of dat radical shit, some miller lite shit, but I want you to major in crime, how to rob motherfuckers in broad daylight, cheat people out da homes, jobs, take everything, don’t leave a motherfucker nothing. Take his wife too. Hee hee hee, vote for me, I’ll set ya free!
Back to Afghanistan. I told them mountain goats if they lay down their arms I will pay for them to go to school, get them housing and get them jobs. But them motherfuckers too dumb, can’t count to ten. They can fight like hell when they wanna, but they don’t want no schoolin, remind me of you nigguhs in da hood. But they worse than you nigguhs, these mountain goats won’t even let the women go to school, lease you boyz in da hood ain’t dat stupid. Vote fa me, I’ll set ya free.
Now you boyz and girls in da hood might wonder why I don’t give you motherfuckers jobs if you lay down yo guns and stop terrorizing you mama, daddy, grandpa and grandma, yo woman and babies, yes, you nigguhs is killing yo babies too–sometimes ya’ll bad as them mountain goats bombing everything with they good suicide asses. Talkin bout they go get some virgins in Paradise. Do the women get dicks in Paradise? Hee, hee hee. Vote fa me, I’ll set ya free!!!!
Let me finish this bullshit speech up so I can hit my cigarette, maybe a little one on one too. Mechelle make me go to a special little room she fixed up for me in the White House to do my thang. You know how them bitches is, always wanna fix up some shit fa a man. Bitch, I’m the motherfuckin Prez, bitch! Better leave me the fuck alone and take care of dem guls and yo mama.
Back to Afghanistan. We go bring home two or three thousand troops and don’t fuck with me about it. Matter of fact, kiss my black yellow ass, especially you Republicans and that Cornel West bitch! American people, good night. Prosperity is just around the corner, soon a chicken in every pot. Hee hee hee. Vote for me, I’ll set you free!
23 June 2011
* * * * *
* * * * *
A Memoir of My Association With Eldridge Cleaver
By Marvin X
* * * * *
From The World and Africa, 1965
* * * * *
* * * * *
If you like this page consider making a donation
online through PayPal
* * * * *
Browse all issues
* * * * *
* * * * *
* * * * *
* * * * *
posted 19 May 2011