A Drunkard in Denial

A Drunkard in Denial


ChickenBones: A Journal

for Literary & Artistic African-American Themes




My sister says drinking is not good for you


It changes your whole personality

You don’t need to drink


But I still drink cause I don’t have no problem




Books by Marvin X

Love and War: Poems  / In the Crazy House Called America / Woman: Man’s Best Friend Beyond Religion Toward Spirituality

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A Drunkard in Denial


By Marvin X


I am a drunkard in denial

I don’t have no problem

I’m doing fine

I talk with my children and my woman

So I don’t have no problem

My children say daddy please don’t drink

My woman say man please don’t drink

But I drink anyway

Cause I don’t have no problem

My sister says drinking is not good for you

It changes your whole personality

You don’t need to drink

But I still drink cause I don’t have no problem

I flipped my car into the ditch a few weeks ago

It was all over the news

Car found in ditch no driver found

I had crawled out and walked home

Don’t know how I walked home

Don’t know how my car got into the ditch

Can’t remember nothing

But I don’t have no problem

Been drinking forty five years

So why stop now

I ain’t got no problem

I drink when I want to drink

If I don’t want to drink I don’t drink

They say I’m an episodic alcoholic

I can do with it or I can do without it

I don’t have no problem

After all, I practice harm reduction

I pay my rent, buy my food, wash my clothes

Even take a bath now and then

So I ain’t got no problem

What are you talking about

I can’t go nowhere and have a drink in peace

All my drinking buddies is dead

But I ain’t got no problem

Hell, it’s lonely without my drinking buddies

But I ain’t got no problem

I only drink sometimes when I’m happy or when I’m sad

But I ain’t got no problem

Or I drink when I get the writer’s block so I can get unblocked

Ain’t got no problem

Used to drink white port and lemon juice

Then Silver Satin, Golden Spur

Rainer Ale that Green Death

Then moved up to Hennessey Separators

Yeah, they separate yo mind from yo body

They separate yo money from yo hand

Watch out for them separators

But I ain’t got no problem

After 45 years of drinking

Do I have a liver

Do I have a kidney

Oh, I want a transplant

Will somebody give me a transplant

Since I fucked my kidneys up drinking

Will one of my children give me a kidney

Maybe my woman will give me one

She loves me she say

Maybe one of my drinking buddies will share their kidney

Like we shared that Night Trane and Cisco

But I forgot, all my drinking buddies is dead

I miss them so much

Let me make a libation to them with this Henessey

Ops, not too much on the ground now

This shit is too expensive

Let’s be real!

I even started a theatre for drunks called Recovery Theatre

I’m the drunkest one in the theatre

The City tried to give me money for my theatre

But I was too busy getting drunk to write the proposal

But I ain’t got no problem

Getting drunk was more important than writing for a $l00,000 grant

To save my ass and other drunks

But I ain’t got no problem

Drunks lying all outside my theatre

But I’m too drunk to let them in

But I ain’t got no problem

Will somebody help me?

posted 20 June 2005

Marvin X is founder of San Francisco’s Recovery Theatre in the Tenderloin, located at Theatre St. Boniface, 133 Golden Gate Avenue. Thousands of Bay Area addicts and alcoholics saw his docudrama of addiction and recovery One Day In The Life. In the ten years since he began his recovery, Marvin X has written five books, including Love and War, poems, 1995, Somethin Proper, autobiography, 1998, In the Crazy House Called America, essays, 2002, Wish I Could Tell You The Truth, essays, 2005 and Land of  My Daughters, poems, 2005. On June 10, 2005, he received a lifetime achievement award from the Los Angeles Black Books Exposition. For talks/readings, call 510-472-9589.

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posted 31 July 2008




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