Death from the Loss of Desire

Death from the Loss of Desire


ChickenBones: A Journal

for Literary & Artistic African-American Themes



And yet, black women come to me declaring the black man hates them. No, he does not hate them,

he hates their mouth, thus the high rate of domestic violence, largely brought about by the woman’s

mouth, certainly not her physicality, except of late as she is known to cut and shoot him in retaliation.



Books by Marvin X

Love and War: Poems  / In the Crazy House Called America / Woman: Man’s Best Friend Beyond Religion Toward Spirituality

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Death from the Loss of Desire


The Sexual and Political Anorexia of the Black Woman (Julia Hare)

Death by Love: A Play by Ayodele Nzinga

Review by Marvin X


This will be a double review, or an attempt at a double review, simply because of time and other items on my agenda. So I will attempt to merge a review of Ayodele’s play Death by Love with Dr. Julia Hare’s latest book The Sexual and Political Anorexia of the Black Woman. There is something similar in the psycholinguistics, since the lead woman in Ayo’s drama is dying of AIDS and the women in Dr. Hare’s book are love starved and politically apathetic, thus, they are dying as well.

So essentially, our concern is the theme of death, death by innocence, by lack of faith.. The woman in Ayo’s drama contracted AIDS probably by an unfaithful husband who engaged in homosexual acts while in prison. The woman had undying faith her God would save her.

Julia Hare’s women have lost the desire for sex or are love starved creatures despite their economic and academic accomplishments, simply because their men are such scoundrels caught in the psychosexuality of patriarchal socialization. Thus, they cannot be honest with their women because she wants to hear lies, even Ayodele’s woman who has contracted AIDS doesn’t press her man to confess he has had homosexual encounters in prison. Even as AIDS is in its last stages with her, she allows her man to maintain his dignity in her overall persona of denial so well practiced by her gender group—dying yet denying!

Julia’s women, in much the same mode, suffer because of psycholinguistic trauma which prevents them from achieving sexual satisfaction and the ultimate political satisfaction which Michelle Obama claims she is achieving with her man. Michelle declares she knows who she is and what she is and is clear on her role as a woman, wife, mother and lover, and she is not going the route of the anorexic black woman.

Ayo’s woman suffered a physical malady, but Julia’s women suffer a psychological and physical disease originating in the heart, flowing outward and upward to the brain with the resulting trauma and ultimate death from starvation, i.e., the loss of desire.

But I would like to suggest that the psycholinguistic tragedy is that much if not most of this trauma is brought about by the actions of the black woman’s mouth. In short, she has forgotten how to speak the words of love to her man, a result of her gender and sexual anorexia, despite her economic success.

For example, as a result of having multiple women and/or wives, in my life, I have learned that there are women who can speak to a man and make his dick go limp, and there are women who can speak to a man and make his dick grow hard and stay hard.

The latter women are secure within themselves and as a result are in many cases ahead of the man simply because they know what they are doing and do it well. While the former are women who in many cases are highly educated or trained in the white man’s way but don’t have a clue how to talk with a black man to arouse him and maintain his penis on hard.

And yet, black women come to me declaring the black man hates them. No, he does not hate them, he hates their mouth, thus the high rate of domestic violence, largely brought about by the woman’s mouth, certainly not her physicality, except of late as she is known to cut and shoot him in retaliation.

But hear me clearly, I am not suggesting women become Silent Night. I am suggesting something more subtle, more feminine and seductive, a way out of the morass of anorexia and pseudo faith. Be honest yet clever. Let me put my personal business in the street on this point. One of my very dear lady friends with whom I was visiting to do some writing came into the room where I was typing on the computer and asked if I minded if she masturbated while I typed. In total shock at how she came at me, I said no, and then immediately departed from the computer to satisfy her—after all, is that not what she wanted? But she came at me in such a feminine manner that it totally disarmed me, leaving me helplessly at her command.

But beyond her mouth, the black woman, along with her man, must detox from white supremacy: get rid of that ugly, phony Korean hair, turn off the white TV shows brainwashing her and her children, stay out of the white man’s shopping centers buying goods she doesn’t need (conspicuous consumption), give up the white Jesus (Sarapas), encourage herself and her man to become economically independent. Teach do for self to her children. Study black and spiritual consciousness to clean the white garbage from her mind, with her man and children doing the same.

And lastly, discover what her divine mission is and follow her bliss.. Women without men should prepare for a man. Women who are addicted to rubber and plastic men should seek psychological help. Pretending your woman friend is your man only takes you deeper into the morass of white supremacy psychopathology.

Ayo in her Death by Love drama and Julia in her book The Sexual and Political Anorexia of the Black Woman, have given us two documents urgently needed by men and women today. I urge you to check them out. Peace and love.

This Saturday, August 2, 4pm, Dr. M (Marvin X) will discuss and sign copies of his book HOW TO RECOVER FROM THE ADDICTION TO WHITE SUPREMACY at the African American Library/Museum, 14th and Martin Luther King, Jr., downtown Oakland. Admission is free. Call 510-355-6331. His book is available from Black Bird

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Marvin, the greater strategy was, is, and will always be divide-and-conquer. The system and the laws and politicians have contributed to this I’m-better-off-without-you mode of thought. The only way a black man, unless they are their sons, can dialogue openly with a great number of black women with respect is to have lots of money or lots of power or both, that is, if you are the Icon of Success. Thus the great popularity of Obama among many black women; he has combined both—money and power. And then there are the added spice of charm, beauty, and education. He is the man lacking in our own personal psychology (fulfillment). In short, he’s the full package.

Aduku Addae had his own unique way of expressing  the dilemma in which many of us will find ourselves. His: Feminism and the Criminalization of Masculinity speaks volumes.

This gender excess—conflict—of the last several decades has thus brought us to this condition of “anorexia,” “death from starvation, i.e., the loss of desire” for one another. Black men also have their own form of this psychosexual disease, “moocho macho,” a denial of sensitivity, of softness—thus the popularity of being a “G,” a gangster, among so many young black boys. These reactionary modes of behavior abound in our communities.

The social connectedness, the fabric of sociality across gender lines in our communities is exceedingly frayed. How we strengthen the quilt that is our lives—our culture—begins with these kinds of open and honest looks at the behavior of black men with black men and black men with black women in our daily dealings. Greater retrenchment is not the answer; we must gather together the unwound threads and do the necessary patchwork. Dignity, integrity, and respect are required on all sides, as well as love and sympathy..

I congratulate Ayodele and Julia Hare on their wonderful introspection.—Rudy

*   *   *   *   *’s 25 Best Selling Books

For July 1st through August 31st 2011  


#1 – Justify My Thug by Wahida Clark #2 – Flyy Girl by Omar Tyree #3 – Head Bangers: An APF Sexcapade by Zane #4 – Life Is Short But Wide by J. California Cooper #5 – Stackin’ Paper 2 Genesis’ Payback by Joy King #6 – Thug Lovin’ (Thug 4) by Wahida Clark #7 – When I Get Where I’m Going by Cheryl Robinson #8 – Casting the First Stone by Kimberla Lawson Roby #9 – The Sex Chronicles: Shattering the Myth by Zane

#10 – Covenant: A Thriller  by Brandon Massey

#11 – Diary Of A Street Diva  by Ashley and JaQuavis

#12 – Don’t Ever Tell  by Brandon Massey

#13 – For colored girls who have considered suicide  by Ntozake Shange

#14 – For the Love of Money : A Novel by Omar Tyree

#15 – Homemade Loves  by J. California Cooper

#16 – The Future Has a Past: Stories by J. California Cooper

#17 – Player Haters by Carl Weber

#18 – Purple Panties: An Anthology by Sidney Molare

#19 – Stackin’ Paper by Joy King

#20 – Children of the Street: An Inspector Darko Dawson Mystery by Kwei Quartey

#21 – The Upper Room by Mary Monroe

#22 – Thug Matrimony  by Wahida Clark

#23 – Thugs And The Women Who Love Them by Wahida Clark

#24 – Married Men by Carl Weber

#25 – I Dreamt I Was in Heaven – The Rampage of the Rufus Buck Gang by Leonce Gaiter


#1 – Malcolm X: A Life of Reinvention by Manning Marable #2 – Confessions of a Video Vixen by Karrine Steffans #3 – Dear G-Spot: Straight Talk About Sex and Love by Zane #4 – Letters to a Young Brother: MANifest Your Destiny by Hill Harper #5 – Peace from Broken Pieces: How to Get Through What You’re Going Through by Iyanla Vanzant #6 – Selected Writings and Speeches of Marcus Garvey by Marcus Garvey #7 – The Ebony Cookbook: A Date with a Dish by Freda DeKnight #8 – The Isis Papers: The Keys to the Colors by Frances Cress Welsing #9 – The Mis-Education of the Negro by Carter Godwin Woodson

#10 – John Henrik Clarke and the Power of Africana History  by Ahati N. N. Toure

#11 – Fail Up: 20 Lessons on Building Success from Failure by Tavis Smiley

#12 –The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness by Michelle Alexander

#13 – The Black Male Handbook: A Blueprint for Life by Kevin Powell

#14 – The Other Wes Moore: One Name, Two Fates by Wes Moore

#15 – Why Men Fear Marriage: The Surprising Truth Behind Why So Many Men Can’t Commit  by RM Johnson

#16 – Black Titan: A.G. Gaston and the Making of a Black American Millionaire by Carol Jenkins

#17 – Brainwashed: Challenging the Myth of Black Inferiority by Tom Burrell

#18 – A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose by Eckhart Tolle

#19 – John Oliver Killens: A Life of Black Literary Activism by Keith Gilyard

#20 – Alain L. Locke: The Biography of a Philosopher by Leonard Harris

#21 – Age Ain’t Nothing but a Number: Black Women Explore Midlife by Carleen Brice

#22 – 2012 Guide to Literary Agents by Chuck Sambuchino #23 – Chicken Soup for the Prisoner’s Soul by Tom Lagana #24 – 101 Things Every Boy/Young Man of Color Should Know by LaMarr Darnell Shields

#25 – Beyond the Black Lady: Sexuality and the New African American Middle Class  by Lisa B. Thompson

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Sex at the Margins

Migration, Labour Markets and the Rescue Industry

By Laura María Agustín

This book explodes several myths: that selling sex is completely different from any other kind of work, that migrants who sell sex are passive victims and that the multitude of people out to save them are without self-interest. Laura Agustín makes a passionate case against these stereotypes, arguing that the label ‘trafficked’ does not accurately describe migrants’ lives and that the ‘rescue industry’ serves to disempower them. Based on extensive research amongst both migrants who sell sex and social helpers, Sex at the Margins provides a radically different analysis. Frequently, says Agustin, migrants make rational choices to travel and work in the sex industry, and although they are treated like a marginalised group they form part of the dynamic global economy. Both powerful and controversial, this book is essential reading for all those who want to understand the increasingly important relationship between sex markets, migration and the desire for social justice. “Sex at the Margins rips apart distinctions between migrants, service work and sexual labour and reveals the utter complexity of the contemporary sex industry. This book is set to be a trailblazer in the study of sexuality.”—Lisa Adkins, University of London

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The New Jim Crow

Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness

By Michele Alexander

Contrary to the rosy picture of race embodied in Barack Obama’s political success and Oprah Winfrey’s financial success, legal scholar Alexander argues vigorously and persuasively that [w]e have not ended racial caste in America; we have merely redesigned it. Jim Crow and legal racial segregation has been replaced by mass incarceration as a system of social control (More African Americans are under correctional control today… than were enslaved in 1850). Alexander reviews American racial history from the colonies to the Clinton administration, delineating its transformation into the war on drugs. She offers an acute analysis of the effect of this mass incarceration upon former inmates who will be discriminated against, legally, for the rest of their lives, denied employment, housing, education, and public benefits. Most provocatively, she reveals how both the move toward colorblindness and affirmative action may blur our vision of injustice: most Americans know and don’t know the truth about mass incarceration—but her carefully researched, deeply engaging, and thoroughly readable book should change that.—Publishers Weekly

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posted 29 July 2008 




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